Currently Listening State of Things By Reverend and the Makers see related

So yeah... it's official. I'm back in Nashville after spending a semester living the life in the great NYC... and well, it's strange. I thought that leaving New York would be easier than parting from London last year, but in all honesty, it's the complete opposite. I won't even have the same amount of time to let it all sink in. I called my boss from my job last summer to see if he needed me to work again, and well... in the next 4 days I'll be working about 30 hours. lol. Maybe I called a bit too early. But that's pretty much how this last semester of college is going to be... busy with an overall lack of free time. I'll be taking 19 hours of classes, volunteering, working a part-time job, and possibly interning. I don't know how I'm going to have time for anything... let alone studying and preparing for the LSAT and GRE. Ugh... I wanted my last semester to be an easy fun-filled one, but oh well. I'm sure it will have it's moments. Damn, I hope so. Maybe I can fit something in for Spring Break? Or maybe I'll just have to wait until after school in the summer. I just need to focus on saving money right now, I guess. That and not pushing myself too hard.

But it would be nice to have one last hoorah before jumping into the "real world" and being all adult-like...

Currently Listening Datarock By Datarock see related

The Future, Enigmatic

I can gradually see my musical taste changing. In the past 2 months that I've been in NYC,  my taste has taken quite a turn. I came up here mainly listening to harder music like Silverstein, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, Enter Shikari… emo-like stuff, which there is nothing wrong with. But recently, I've been reaching toward calmer sounds… singer-songwriter tunes with gentle melodies and harmonies... music that's more intimate and less intense. It's quite nice. Jose Gonzalez is slowly becoming one of my favourite listens. His songs are so simple yet speak volumes to me… well maybe not volumes, but I can relate to some of the general feelings he writes about. I don't know why I decided to talk about this. A bit random, I suppose. Stream of consciousness kinda thing.

So I think I've officially decided that I want to move to NYC. It was hard decision to make and I know it is one I will mull over a billion more times between now and the end of next semester, but for now, I am fairly comfortable with that decision. It does bring me some worries though, I'll be honest. How in hell am I going to afford this city? If I move up here… damn it… when I move up here, I am definitely going to need to be more careful with my money. I have the tendency to not keep a good watch on my money, as many will tell you. I plan on training myself to be better with that next semester. This means cutting certain habits out… like eating ridiculous amounts of fast food, eating out in general, drinking (a social habit I've stepped back into this semester), and buying stupid shit I don't need. The only big things I'm giving myself permission to buy next semester are a new IPod and perhaps the new IPhone (it's pretty fuckin sweet). But other than that, I need to keep my duckies in a row (as my Mom would say). I need to utilize my money wisely by paying off as many as my bills I can. I mean, this is my last year in college, which basically translates into this being the last 5 months I have of being under my parents' general care and shielding. And in all honesty, it's time for me to take control of my life financially anyway. I am  at the point where I can't be upset with my parents anymore when they can't give the financial support I want. It's not their job now. Their job was to simply give me a firm foundation and understanding… to give me wings and teach me to fly. I can't expect them to fly for me when I have my own wings. I've been realizing that for some time now, and I'll be honest, it's a realization have not wanted to accept. It's not easy to start fully supporting yourself when you haven't ever done so. I mean, I've supported myself in certain aspects… paying my cell phone bill and for summer school among other things… but it's time I take full control. My parents shouldn't have to worry about supporting me financially. They've worked their whole lives giving me things and sacrificing their wants. But with that being said, it doesn't make it any less scary… being completely on my own. I guess it's a scary thing for everyone though… so I guess I'm not alone in my thinking. I hope not.

So this whole moving to the Big Apple thing… yeah, it's scary shit. I've heard many stories of people since I've been up here. They talk about moving up here and struggling for the first one or two years… dealing with bed bugs, bad roommates, being broke living paycheck to paycheck… just everything imaginable. Everytime I hear on of these tales, I think to myself, maybe I should just stay in Nashville. It'll be cheaper, easier, and the safe bet. At times, it seems like the smarter decision. I'll be closer to family and friends. I'll have my comfort zone, so to speak. But in all honesty, what's left for me in Nashville? I mean, yeah, friends and family of course… but in terms of growing from point A to whatever point is next… what can Nashville do for me? I'm pretty sure I want to stick with the entertainment business, and in that sector, there just aren't many jobs in Nashville outside of Christian and Country music, two genres I don't know much about nor take much interest in. I mean, I have to start thinking about what I want from life and where I want to be, not necessarily in terms of location, but professionally, personally, and the like. And when I think about those things, Nashville just doesn't seem to fit that picture… and maybe it will at some point, but not now. My hardest thing though is just moving away from family. As much as my mom, dad and brother drive me crazy, I cannot imagine having them out of my reach in terms of distance. And moving from New York is definitely going to put them out of reach in terms of distance… and I know they won't be too inclined to visit me because they aren't the traveling type, especially when it comes to big cities. And NYC isn't even that close to Detroit, so I'll be far from both branches of my family. And visiting them might be an issue because of vacation days and time off and when I have time off, who will I visit? Detroit or Nashville? And if I visit one over the other, will the ones I chose not visit be hurt? And what if something happens and I need to be in Detroit or Nashville? Will my job in NYC allow me that time off? Jésus, so many questions and no answers. I really don't know what to think, and the more I ramble, the more I seem to talk myself out of moving away from Nashville, which isn't a good thing because I know if I stay I won't be that happy… but who's to say that I'll be that happy in NYC. Maybe I just have this stylized image of myself living happily in New York and maybe I'll be disappointed… and then what? I really don't know that many people here and if I should move up here, how would I meet more people? Wouldn't everyone already be in there cliques and all? Where would I fit in? I don't know. It's scary. My plan has holes… not necessarily holes but dark spaces. I can't help but wonder if people are having the same issues as I'm having… I wish I could talk to someone about this… like a really good conversation expelling all of this… not just brushing over things, but really getting into the depths of all of this. I need advice… not necessarily advice even. I just need to bounce these ramblings off of people and get some sort of opinion/feedback.

I just wish I knew what I'd be doing five years from now, that way I can shape up the present to fall in line with the future. I just want to be doing something I enjoy and am passionate about, and I guess that's where the problem (for lack of a better word) lies. I'm not exactly sure what I'd enjoy doing… what I'm uber passionate about. I've been trying to figure that out as of late. I want my final internship at Belmont to be in that path… my passion, because ultimately I need this internship to put me toward securing a job. I already have what seem to be some pretty good contacts, but the more contacts/experience the better… and the more these contacts and experiences are geared toward what I want to be doing, the better. But again, that puts me back at the same issue. What do I want to be doing? Law school is something I've been looking into for some time (like 3 years or so).It's a great degree to have for pretty much anything, but do I want to practice law/legal issues? That's an assload of money to be spending on something that I'm not completely certain about. Haha… assload is underlined in red because the dictionary doesn't recognize it. If I invited Microsoft Word, assload would so be a recognized word. Some programmer obviously isn't in the know. But yeah… this is what I have been thinking about lately and it's driving me mad. So many questions and not enough answers. What do you do with that... with a lack of answers? Do you try to draw a new map that has more answers, or simply take out your compass and hope for the best? Try a different path or take the road less traveled? Wish for a light or be your own guide? I don't know. I only hope that I can point myself in the right direction, wherever that may be. I don't know what the future holds, but at the end of the day, I hope I'll find some sort of solace.

Currently Listening Alright, Still By Lily Allen see related

So I've been wanting to see this movie for some time. "Sunshine." The previews for it seemed pretty good, and appeared to be more legit than a lot of the other garbage coming to theatres this summer. My friend Brandon has been hyping this movie up for the past week or two, so I decided to check it out... plus Bethany and Duncan were coming along and they make for great company. We met downtown at about 8pm at the Mediterranean Cuisine restaurant near Starbucks. The food was mediocre at best and we were a bit disappointed that the place offered no kind of alcoholic beverages. The movie didn't start until 1030 at Green Hills, so after eating, we decided to hit up the local gas station for drinks. I know, right? We keep it classy. The guy a the gas station was a bit dodgy though. Somewhat sketchy but details, details... We ended up driving to the top of the Green Hills mall parking garage for a little pregaming and conversation. lol. Well, I wouldn't really call it pregaming because that sounds sad. Who pregames for a movie? It was nice though. When life becomes so hectic and chaotic, it's nice to have those polaroid moments... sitting on top of the parking garage on the bed of a trunk laughing at God knows what, but laughing nonetheless.

The movie was pretty good. It didn't live up to the hype Brandon put behind it, but it was worth the time I suppose. A bit depressing, it was. I was surprised. I was not expecting that, and the random sci-fi moments. The directing was pretty good overall. Makes me wonder why I never dived too much into film, and more so into music. Well... I'm much more confident in my liking for music, so I guess that answers that. All and all, a good night. Between that and getting things squared away with Belmont and my new internship, I'd say today was quite productive. I'll have to write about my new internship and several other new developments later. To sum it up really quickly, I'm happy to say my resume is kick ass and landed me an internship with a major company in less than 30 minutes, without an interview needed... and the resume of my life, if you will, has become more interesting. But all that later. Right now, it's time for some Lily Allen and a good book.

Currently Listening Pawn Shoppe Heart By The Von Bondies see related

  So this summer hasn't been the best of summers. I lost my apartment, had to move back in with my parents for my three months, and live paycheck to paycheck. Not the best thing in the world, but that's not to say that this summer hasn't had any highlights. One highlight was going to see Bright Eyes at Ryman Auditorium. Simply an amazing performance. Oberst didn't play "Lover I Don't Have to Love," which slightly disappointed me, but overall a nice show... and it introduced to this great artist... Gillian Welch. Good stuff. But by far the best highlight of the summer was spending an extended weekend in ATL bia!!!

My good friends Bethany and Duncan joined me on what has become ourt yearly tradition of crashing at Brandon's crib. Brandon's a great friend of ours, and Bethany and I have known him since high school. It was really nice to see him... and know that he still remembered our names and faces being that we only see his whore ass once a year. But all kidding aside, it is awesome knowing that some friends from high school are still dear friends. but enough with the sentimental crap. Brandon wasn't able to meet us at his pad when we arrived, but Bethany, Duncan, and I didn't let that cramp our spirits. We had a long week, and we all just wanted to let loose and chill the hell out.

*Note to all: Try Strongbow! It's hard to find b/c it's from England... but sooo worth it!

So after an hour of "chilling out," we decided to hit the park up for a walk about. It was just nice being out of Nashville again and having the ability to just be me without any regard to what some may say. I can definitely let loose in with Bethany and Duncan and select others, and it's just nice having those sort of friends. Oh God, I'm getting sentimental again. Lo siento. The park was kind of boring. Not much going on... some interesting looking people though. Wow... interesting they were. But whatever. We pretty much ended out first night early while attempting to watch some movie with Brandon when he arrived home from work. And sidenote... he's so damn ghetto. So we wanted to do something nice for him and make him a pizza he could eat when came home. But come to find out, his oven doesn't work... because he refuses to pay his gas bill. So we ended up sticking a full size DiGiorno pizza in the microwave and nuking the hell out of it. It turned out surprisingly, if I may say so.

Our last two days were spent just hanging out with Brandon around Atlanta. We went back to the park for Pride Weekend celebrations which was somewhat strange. I had never been to a Pride Festival, and needless to say, it wasn't really my thing. It was alright though, I guess. Just bloody hot. I definitely got quite the tan. Brandon took us around Atlanta, and we ended up escaping the heat by raiding the Westin Hotel for drinks. It was a pretty swanky place... with swanky prices. Good drinks though, especially Brandon's. Some coconut and baileys thing.

 
* Bethany serving a straw while turning on the man in the background

  
*Brandon being... Brandon.

   
*Cheers!

I was pretty surprised at how much I liked Atlanta. I mean, it's no London by any means, but it's very commutable and walkable... especially in the downtown and central district. I can only imagine how it would have been if I had went to college there. I don't know if I could see myself living in the city, but it's cool having a connection there in case I should feel the need to crash. And a lot of good concerts come through there too.

Wow... I'm tired as hell and it's late. Sorry if you were expecting a super extravagant post. I just wanted to make a quick note of my trip so I could look back later and be all like... "Ooooh yeah! I remember that." Haha. I'm so damn selfish. But not really...

* Piedmont Park in Midtown

* Olympic Park, Downtown Atlanta

* Typical group photo... lol